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Anecdote: Why Do Women Hate Games? |

While my wife was chatting with her other married friends, she mentioned that I play video games to relax. The other wives were shocked and appalled

Oh my! If my husband dared play video games, I wouldn’t have it!

This is a common reaction among women, and it’s really puzzling, annoying, and unreasonable to me. I can completely understand if I was shirking some other responsibility in favor of playing video games all day, but that’s not the issue.

This women’s husband watches sports which is every bit as lazy and unproductive and at least as mentally passive. But for some reason, the leisure activity of playing video games is actually offensive, while watching sports is perfectly acceptable.

  • teedub

    I wouldn’t categorize this as a “female trait”. It’s best reserved for those that are uninformed and uninterested in gaming as a viable entertainment medium. Ignorant people will generally say ignorant things.

    My wife is a gamer, and while she gets motion sickness from FPS games (which I rarely play as it is), our gaming experiences are usually done as a couple. She’s been watching me play InFamous as of late, even daring to take the sticks for a mission or two. While not “hardcore” per se, she still gleefully slices through enemies as Wolverine, adventures through Hyrule as Link, as well as dominating in “casual-core” games like World Of Goo, Zuma, Peggle, and Picross.

  • Oddly enough my wife played Wolverine’s Revenge (PS2) with me a little and she liked it. I didn’t have her try the new one because she’s not a fan of gore.

    She won’t touch very many PS3 games though, some I got her to play is Toy Home (which she was very addicted to for a month or so). Now she doesn’t play it anymore. She liked to play Super Rub a Dub, Flow, Flower, umm I think that’s it. None latest any longer than a month really. So she likes the simple PSN games sometimes.

    My wife is not a huge gamer, she didn’t grow up with it. But she does have one game that she goes to all the time to relax. Pac the Man on the Mac. She plays that probably 5 times a week easy. She finds a lot of the new games hard to control, which I can understand I guess.

    She doesn’t mind me playing games though. She gets a little annoyed after a day long gaming session, but I don’t do that very often. She would much rather have a gamer than a addicted sports guy any day.

  • Smegmazor

    My girlfriend never ceases to be appalled by the violence in some of the shooters I play. She thinks it’s senseless violence, but I see it as competition. Thankfully, she understands that gaming is something I like to do and doesn’t get on my case about it.

  • Jonaskin

    My Fiance loves playing games like Singstar and Buzz with me. A couple of times I’ve got her to play against me in Virtua Fighter 5, she button mashed and beat me in a few rounds.

    I’ve tried to get her into LBP but hasn’t worked…yet…still working on it though.

    She’s not that keen on the violence in some of my favourites though. Whenever I pick up a new game I always get asked ‘so is this another one where you’re just running around killing people then’?

    She gets a bit annoyed if I just want to spend a weekend afternoon playing games, but I think she’s starting to accept that it’s my hobby and I’m sticking to it!

  • Darrin

    My wife can respect the creativity that goes into making the games, but she generally won’t actually play them. LBP, Uncharted, and the Super Mario DS impressed her the most (she loved Super Mario as a kid and doesn’t like the 3D platformers as much).

    The only game that she will actually play is Buzz. And she will also chat with strangers on Home if I have it loaded up.

  • yodaddy

    I just tell her to go get another beer or I going to beat that [email protected]$$! up !

  • Riggins44

    My wife would rather I play online with my brothers than go out to some bar, strip joint or what ever. She reads, I put on my headphones and we just hang out. If you have not tried LBP with a g-friend or wife, you should. My wife and I knocked out all the two player stuff and had a ball doing it.

  • Ian

    I think it has more to do with general acceptance. An adult man watch sports is generally accepted as a normal, adult male activity. While playing video games, to the uninformed, appears as a juvenile, almost delinquent, activity in American (maybe Western?) culture. Take into consideration, the average non-gamer’s contact with video games are more of a counter-cultural affairs with news coverage of negative events being linked to violent events, very “child-like” popular titles, and the fact that while the audience has grown in its age range, its target demographic are still kids in the early to late teens. What’s more, most of the game content and presentation is markedly aimed at their interest.

    Granted, a lot that is said to ignore the huge leaps that (I personally feel) Sony has made to usher in a more mature experience to it’s older gamers, which, in turn, is something I think M$ does very poorly. However, to the uninitiated, gaming as a hobby is looked upon as less than adult-like behavior.

  • ehandlr

    My wife played FFXI for 4 years….and plays ever Kingdom hearts game there is. She also takes a crack at most FF games and Tekkens. With that said…she isn’t a HUGE gamer…but definetly plays her part.

  • Darrin

    I think you nailed it Ian. Loved hearing about everyone else’s cool gaming-friendly wives.

  • Ian

    Sorry for the typos… I”m not very good at typing apparently, but I’m glad the point got across well enough.

  • Stephie

    It’s for little boys. Create something real, instead of playing in fantasy world.

  • Aks

    This is simple! Women need men for everything, men actually don’t need women except for sex. If all men gets busy with other activities that doesn’t involve women, then women are doomed. A woman need love (read money), attention (read money), relationship (read money), emotional support (read money), marriage (read money) etc. Oh!! Did i mention “money”?

    This is the pattern with the beast. Women hate if men spend their hard earned money on their own satisfaction. Every activity men indulge which help women is deemed masculine, the rest is silly, childish, etc.

    If, as a man, u r not chasing a woman like a dog, how in God’s name is she gonna exploit u and extort money from u via several socially sanctioned arrangements like, dating, relationships and marriage? Now u know why women hate gamers as gamers don’t care about a beast with smelly hole. For us gaming is living.

  • Fanboy

    Perfect. What Aks said needs not be added to, as it is perfect.

  • Darrin

    Aks, that is the craziest thing I’ve ever read. Well done!

  • lori

    I was very understanding of my husband playing, until his full weekend playing turned into every night. He doesn’t even eat dinner with me sometimes because he would rather play. Women need men. I don’t agree with the whole “money” thing. Its more emotionaly wanting to feel wanted by the man who once always wanted you. Now it seems he just wants to play.

  • Darrin

    lori, I was talking about women at one extreme. Your situation (at least based on what you are saying) is the complete other extreme. It sounds like you have been more than reasonable, and your husband is just being ridiculous. Sorry, but it sounds like you have genuine marital problems beyond video games.

  • Darrin

    “It’s for little boys. Create something real, instead of playing in fantasy world.”

    People should be productive and responsible in order to earn the privilege of leisure and hobbies.

    Job, career, family, and responsibility come first. But you can’t crap on someone’s choice of leisure and say that video games are childish, while watching sports or fishing or golf is the mature way to relax.

  • Phoenix33

    First of all I really think that if a woman doesn’t like gaming it’s because they’ve really never tried it so therefore don’t understand it. I grew up gaming and playing games with all of my cousins so i really don’t understand what the big deal is. But there could be a solution to the whole thing. So why sit there and whine about it. The first thing you need to do is get her involved in the gaming world. As far as the PS3 games go there are games like Little Big Planet, Rock Band 2, Flow and Flower to name just a few. Yeah maybe these type of games don’t really appeal to the hard core gamer that plays God of War or Modern Warfare but they are starter games to get your girlfriend or wife interested in gaming and a step closer to understanding your passion. Once you have her hooked on some of these games you can move on to games like Soul Caliber, Final Fantasy and Katamari. Also introducing her to the online games where she can chat with her friends is a big plus. We all know that most women like to talk and talk. There is nothing like playing Tekken against your girlfriend and being able to talk to each other. All you have to do is make it fun for you both and things won’t be as hard. No nasty break-up or divorce because I have seen that happen before. Just learn to compromise and try to understand each other. Gaming can be fun for everyone and right now the gaming industry is coming out with ways to get women and families interested. Now it’s just up to you to fix the problems you have.