The Six Worst Video Game Covers Ever


No. 6: Super Duper Sumos, Game Boy Advance

Whoa. So, this Game Boy Advance exclusive apparently has three obese men rubbing their buttocks together. I’m pretty sure that’s not how you sumo wrestle. And, if that green stuff is any indication, these guys are simultaneously farting. Evidently, the cover designer accidentally took a piece of clip art from some sort of weird fetish website, and stuck it on the cover of his game. And, somehow, it received the much-coveted Nintendo Seal of Approval. Hopefully for the actual content of the game, not the freaky cover.

No. 5: Kinectimals, Xbox 360.

Oh, dear Lord! I’m pretty sure the Kinectimals cover is the most frightening thing I’ve seen since I watched The Shining. Look at that thing’s eyes! Animals aren’t supposed to smile. They never, under any circumstances, are supposed to smile. And if they do manage to smile, it’s incredibly creepy, and grandpa needs to take that animal out behind the shed and do what needs to be done. Anyway, this tiger’s eyes look like they contain the souls of the thousands of Red Ring of Death’d Xbox 360s. I guess this is just another thing that proves PlayStation’s dominance over Xbox.

No. 4: Freestyle MetalX, Xbox, PlayStation 2, GameCube.

I don’t know if I’m cheating here, but Freestyle MetalX released a different cover for every console it was on. A pretty good idea, except each cover was freakier than the last. It’s hard to explain, but it seems like each character had several other versions of themselves jumping out of their facial orifices, making for a truly terrible cover series.

No. 3:  Karnaaj Rally, Game Boy Advance

Wow, another GBA cover. Those guys must have had some really crappy cover artists. Anyway, this looks like it was crated by a sixth-grader who had just figured out how to use Photoshop on his dad’s computer. And another Nintendo Seal of Approval. Man, Nintendo’s standards must have really slipped over the past few years.

No. 2: Scrapyard Dog, Atari 7800.

This cover has all the makings of something created under the influence of some sort of hallucinogenic drug. You have the dude with the disproportionately large nose, the seemingly flashing colors floating around him, and a dog who looks like it’s possesed by the Kinectimals from the future.

No. 1: Xenon 2: Megablast, Commodore Amiga, Atari ST, IBM PC, Sega Master System, Sega Mega Drive, Acorn Archimedes, Game Boy, NEC PC-9801, Sharp X-6800

Now this looks like what would happen if someone took every dangerous drug at the same time, and then went on there Commodore Amiga. This is exactly what they would see. Well, you can’t blame the designers for being unimaginative. Because whatever they took the morning before the cover design meeting, put their imaginations to the max. I’m starting to feel buzzed just looking at it.

(Dis)honorable Mentions, the covers that were bad, but not bad enough. So, it’s a win of sorts, for them.

Every Sega Master System cover in existence

Trevor McFur in the Crescent Galaxy. I can’t tell what’s weirder. The furries or the furries.

Super Bust-A-Move. The title of the game would’ve been considered terrible if it wasn’t for the freaky cover overshadowing it.

Phalanx. Just FYI, Phalanx was a space shooter. The mystery of what a redneck with a banjo is doing on the cover of a space shooter haunts historians to this day.

Metro Cross. This cover set skateboarding as a sport back 15 years.

Irritating Stick. And, boy, was that stick irritating.


Written by: MAINEiac4434 - News Contributor


  1. #1 by Oly1Kenobi on July 8th, 2010 [ 132235 Points ]

    classics!

  2. #2 by Madagasca on July 9th, 2010 [ 6529 Points ]

    Xenon 2 was boss!

    Bomb the Bass were finally on the map after their megablast tune!!

  3. #3 by Trev on July 9th, 2010 [ 26623 Points ]

    i disagree with the master system call, they were classics with the graph paper design, i liked the continuity it carried over all the games.

    the rest are truly ugly though..

  4. #4 by Luke on July 9th, 2010 [ 27382 Points ]

    This a PS3 website or do we just post random news now?

  5. #5 by sam on July 9th, 2010

    I enjoyed this tidbit of random information and welcome more of it.

  6. #6 by Ceidz on July 9th, 2010 [ 38331 Points ]

    sam: I enjoyed this tidbit of random information and welcome more of it.  

    I agree with that !

  7. #7 by Nightflash on July 9th, 2010

    “Wow, another GBA cover. Those guys must have had some really crappy cover artists.”
    Which ‘guys’? The one agency that made all the GBA boxarts? :S

    “Man, Nintendo’s standards must have really slipped over the past few years.”
    I know this article isn’t meant to be taken to seriously, but one thing I appreciated about PS3blog.net over all these years was that it remained rather neutral over the competition. I think this comment was uncalled for.

    Where there no crappy covers for any PS1/2/3 or PSP games? I honestly can’t imagine.

  8. #8 by GamesOgre on July 9th, 2010

    Great list! I honestly wonder if the people designing those covers thought they were doing a good thing…

  9. #9 by Jonaskin on July 12th, 2010

    The Master System was awesome!

    My pick for worst ever would be the US cover for Mega Man (NES).

  10. #10 by Kilwag on July 14th, 2010

    It’s 2010, for Pete’s sake, stop blind linking to images hosted on other web sites.

  11. #11 by UbeRamza on July 17th, 2010 [ 915 Points ]

    Damn, tough crowd huh!? I liked your story man, its something a little different than the ususl stuff on the site. Yes, Mega Man is definately number 7 on the list.

  12. #12 by MAINEiac4434 on January 21st, 2011 [ 3494 Points ]

    Trev: i disagree with the master system call, they were classics with the graph paper design, i liked the continuity it carried over all the games.the rest are truly ugly though..  

    I put the Master System covers on here because some of them were just pictures of some guy holding the cartridge. That’s not a cover, that’s…something else.

    Luke: This a PS3 website or do we just post random news now?  

    There’s an off-topic section for a reason…

    sam: I enjoyed this tidbit of random information and welcome more of it.  

    Ceidz:
    I agree with that !  

    Thanks guys. I was thinking about making a “Best covers ever” but decided against it, because I like writing about stuff I hate rather than stuff I love.

    Nightflash: “Wow, another GBA cover. Those guys must have had some really crappy cover artists.”
    Which ‘guys’? The one agency that made all the GBA boxarts? :S“Man, Nintendo’s standards must have really slipped over the past few years.”
    I know this article isn’t meant to be taken to seriously, but one thing I appreciated about PS3blog.net over all these years was that it remained rather neutral over the competition. I think this comment was uncalled for.Where there no crappy covers for any PS1/2/3 or PSP games? I honestly can’t imagine.  

    Not crappy enough to get in my top 6.

    GamesOgre: Great list! I honestly wonder if the people designing those covers thought they were doing a good thing…  

    Maybe cocaine was involved. Coke is always in question whenever there is questionable marketing/art in any consumer product.

    Jonaskin: The Master System was awesome!My pick for worst ever would be the US cover for Mega Man (NES).  

    UbeRamza: Damn, tough crowd huh!? I liked your story man, its something a little different than the ususl stuff on the site. Yes, Mega Man is definately number 7 on the list.  

    Mega Man was pretty bad, considering how classic that series is. I contend that it wasn’t bad enough to get in my top 6 worst cover-arted games.


You must be logged in to post a comment.

Like trophies? Like giveaways? Want to speak your mind? Register here!