We’re all friends here, right? I think you and I have developed a certain kinship that’s formed between two people that have something in common. Now mind you, I don’t think we’re at the “you introduce me to your friends and I’ll introduce you to mine” phase…and we’re certainly not at the “hey foobear, I heard you drive a truck and do you think you can sacrifice your entire weekend to help me move, even though it’s double xp weekend” phase. Not even close, captain. Ok, so friends may be a stretch – how about buddies? I like the sound of that, it’s got a nice ring to it. Don’t worry – our friendship won’t involve anything heavy like ocean-side walks or picking out new drapes for my living room. It’s going to involve you and I talking about what needs to be talked about. I’m talking serious business here, new buddy. So let me get to down to brass tacks…
The PlayStation 3.
We like it. We love it. We want more of it. I personally cherish my little black friend, and even though I’m now recently emotionally invested in the newest 160gb console, I still keep in touch with my eldest 80gb which is just only mere feet away in the other room. A technological wonder in every respect, a tasty little blu ray player as well as gaming device. So many features, you begin to lose count and wonder where the fountain of awesome will actually run out. A steal of a deal and easily locatable at most retailers for around a paltry $300, you’ll be able to score a pretty wizard bundle including at least a game for nothing more than your troubles – with me so far?
– Playstation 3
– $300 average price (or cheaper)
– Blu Ray player
– FREE Multiplayer Online Access
– Gigantic Game selection
– Easily affordable
Now, let’s cut right to the center of ye’ old shrubbery maze, shall we? Why on earth would you lay down that kind of cash and NOT buy a headset? This happens all the time. There are games that if you really want to get the full online experience, you almost have to get a headset. A couple games come to mind:
– Red Dead Redemption
– Call of Duty ( take your pick of which one )
– Uncharted 2
– Resistance 2
I could keep going. It’s almost like you’re cheating yourself the full online experience. Let me explain… Some games that have online capability, that require for the most part some sort of strategy. Take for instance, Call of Duty: Black Ops. Some of the online maps you play in are massive and that would and should almost mandate some sort of communication between team members. This in turn helps your team run an effective sweep of a large map letting you know, you’re not just playing with a bunch of goons who are just playing the map to search for the latest glitch and quite possibly jeopardize your current winning situation. And of course, there’s the gaming edge of being able to tell your teammates: “Hey! They’re over by the water tower looking thingy, behind the crane…area.” Not an exact location, but you’re obviously flustered from getting killed and didn’t happen to write down the exact location…but we forgive you. Call of Duty isn’t the only game that benefits from having and utilizing a USB or Bluetooth headset, it was just an example of course.
Now on the other hand…there’s some people that shouldn’t have a mic. There’s the “over-talker”, the “no-talker”, and of course the dreaded: “I’m going to play “Raining Blood” by Slayer in the background because it gets me pumped and I’m going to go beast mode”…guy.” This of course is counter-productive because all that’s going to happen is that other players will think you’re a dummy and will just mute you, in order not to hear the over-modulated music coming out through their headset speakers because YOUR headset can’t handle that kind of sound. It sounds lame, other gamers will shun you – so don’t do it. Did I mention it’s lame?
Moving on to the “over-talker”…this is the gamer that doesn’t care what anybody else has to say – they’re going to say it first and they’re going to say five times just in case you didn’t hear the first four. Take for instance my PSN friend, “bostonbodyman”. This handsome and very disease free man (ladies, take note) has the foul-mouthed chucklehead championship belt wrapped up with a neat little bow. This gentleman talks – and at great length – about everything and everything. He also has an unparalleled ability to string together adjectives and verbs that would make nuns cry. I personally think it’s all for show and he’s like the TV detective “Columbo” and just acts like a total moron, but underneath it all he’s slowly just picking you apart and always watching, analyzing, and judging. I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying he’s probably got us all fooled and he’ll end up having the last laugh. Lastly, we have have the “no-talker. This is the PSN friend that you know has a mic, but never says anything. You could be in the gulliest of games and things are getting dicey and all the meanwhile, your teammate/friend says nothing. Throw me a freaking bone here dude and at least give me a heads up or something!! Submitted for your approval loyal reader, my PSN friend “Evilinside69″. This gamer hails from the great country of Canada, and is a beast when it comes to multiplayer games. Truly a warrior on the sticks, proving time and time again to be an invaluable asset to any online squad – regardless of the odds and/or situation. With that being said, it’s like playing with Helen Keller. Rarely communicating, and when he does so, it’s usually in a series of indiscernible grunts or the usual “yea” or “mmm-hmm”. Gaming with players like my good friend, make me want go out onto the freeway and throw out a box of nails, just purely out of utter frustration. Now I know that’s probably just an unfair observation on my part and he’s just most likely wrapped up in the excitement of it all. But most people can easily walk and chew gum. I know I certainly can and have done so for years, so why can’t all the “no-talkers”? It’s not tough, just blurt out some phrase in English that could possibly give your teammates an edge in whatever game you’re playing and we’ll thank you for it later when we’re all still alive because you had the wherewithal to actually open your beak for once and say something that proved useful.
And of course, you have people like me who goof off constantly, tell inappropriate jokes that have seemingly have no obvious punchline and make comments that are completely uncalled for. I’ve been called every name in the book and honestly it doesn’t even bother me. And I’ll tell you why, because in the end – I’m doing it to make sure everyone who plays with me – WANTS to play with me. I’m not really into people who can’t take a joke and realize it’s nothing more than that. Society today is so convoluted as to say what is ok and what isn’t. It’s the reason why most games have been branded with “online play not rated by ESRB” – but that’s another story for another time, buddy. So in conclusion, go get yourself a headset you cheapskate and you can enter into a whole new world and possibly make some dumb friends like mine. Some of these gentleman I’ve mentioned today and in previous articles are actually longtime friends with me in real life. But you and I? Were just buddies right now…so don’t get any ideas. And yes, my truck and I are busy this weekend.
Written by: Damon
- Contributing Editor