[Girlfriend Review] Double Feature – God of War: Ascension / Spec Ops: The Line


*Editors note: All spoiler text will be hidden. To reveal simply highlight the text in between the [spoiler] tags.*


God of War: Ascension

Yikes. God of War: Ascension was really bloody. It was Quentin-Tarantino-and-Eli-Roth’s love-child bloody. I really only saw about half an hour of gameplay and I saw more blood than in an episode of Game of Thrones. I have one vividly clear memory of this gore, and that was during the Trial of Archimedes level. Kratos slices the Medusa-lizard thingy right down the middle, and leaves her splayed on the ground like a partially juillenied cucumber.

A couple other things I remember about the game: the elephant man that Kratos fought? Was that the Hindi god Ganesh? Cuz I don’t remember any elephant men in Greek mythology. (Mainly because there aren’t any elephants in Greece.) And then there was that half spider/half human/half robot lady that did acrobats while fighting Kratos. Who was that? Lord Varys? (He’s the only Spider I can think of.)

Um…yeah, that’s pretty much all I can remember of that game. I’m just glad I don’t have to play it.


Spec Ops: The Line

The first few hours of gameplay were a lot like the first-person shooter that I’m used to, the kind a non-gamer like myself would expect. (To clarify, the only FPS I’ve ever played was Goldeneye on the N64, which I don’t really remember, as I last played it over a decade ago.)

In Spec Ops, your character is a special ops soldier, in war-torn Dubai. You kill the enemy while trying to rescue your friends (I think) and get home safe.

Based on the dialogue I could hear, I almost thought Aaron Sorkin had written it. It was fast-paced, cutting and funny, with a hint of seriousness.

But as you and your team get deeper into Dubai, you learn that another team of soldiers, unit 33, has gone rogue. They killed a lot of civilians. I don’t know why. The storyline was a little too convoluted for me to grasp, since I wasn’t really paying attention to it.

The leader of the 33 is the Big Bad you’re trying to defeat. He’s killed a lot of American soldiers and Dubai-ian (Dubainite?) civilians. I think he’s trying to get you onto his side, and he attempts this by putting you in some difficult situations. [spoiler]You have to walk through an area full of people who are dying because of chemical warfare. You also have to walk through a room of civilian corpses, including one that is extremely gruesome: a mother holding her child, the two fused together by whatever killed them. At one point, it looks like the 33 has killed one of your team members.[/spoiler]

There is one scene that will probably give me nightmares, or at least very disturbing dreams. [spoiler]Your team walks underneath a bridge, which has two people hanging from it. One person is a thief, a civilian who stole water for his family. The other is the soldier who killed the thief’s family. You are forced to choose which one lives and which one dies.[/spoiler]

I didn’t see the full ending, so I don’t know exactly how the game ends. I don’t know how you “win”. But [spoiler]I did catch the M. Night Shyamalan twist that closed out the story.[/spoiler] And it was pretty interesting.



Disclaimer

Girlfriend Review is not an official review. It is intended as an entertaining look into the perception of a game by an outsider.


Written by: Clint - Podcast Producer


  1. #1 by kennygk on March 27th, 2013 [ 24988 Points ]

    Haha loved the Game of Thrones reference. These are great.

  2. #2 by Pai do mercado on March 27th, 2013 [ 2376 Points ]

    Cool, I started playing GOW this week
    Spec ops: seems to be a good game, but with the psn europe, increased significantly the amount of games in my colection.
    Very good idea to put review games from PSN + too

  3. #3 by hobbes on March 27th, 2013 [ 28951 Points ]

    hmm spec ops would be good, i need to give that a go some day soon. @Pai do mercado so you have both plus accounts?

  4. #4 by Pai do mercado on March 28th, 2013 [ 2376 Points ]

    @hobbes i’m just addicted… I do not have to explain LOL
    Yeah both EU and USA

  5. #5 by Cheeto on March 29th, 2013 [ 29099 Points ]

    Spec Ops was an average shooter, with a decent story and a good ending. It is also free for PS+ members.

  6. #6 by Kane112 on March 29th, 2013 [ 32957 Points ]

    great read love having a spectators view

  7. #7 by EdEN on March 30th, 2013 [ 132664 Points ]

    Very fun read. Keep them coming!

  8. #8 by wolfkin on March 31st, 2013 [ 6633 Points ]

    > I really only saw about half an hour of gameplay and I saw more blood than in an episode of Game of Thrones.

    I’m curious why? Was the violence and gore too much? or did she just not have enough time?

    I’m genuinely curious as to how games like GoW (ultraviolent) are perceived by those outside the community.

    I imagine that my friend Lucy (who is big into horror films) and I perceive films like Hostel differently.

  9. #9 by Clint on March 31st, 2013 [ 56309 Points ]

    @Wolfkin – We don’t live together, so she’s not always around when I’m playing. While she was there for the majority of Tomb Raider, she missed a large portion of GoW because I was playing it as soon as I got home. By the time the weekend rolled around it was near the end of the game, but I had mentioned to her that she wouldn’t be doing a GF-R for it when I started (because she’d miss so much). However with the success of the Tomb Raider one I asked if she could type one out anyways.

    Seeing as it was a bit short, since she wasn’t paying too much attention and doing her own thing, I decided not to post it until I had another game finished and reviewed by her.

    The game didn’t come off as ultra-violent to her, seeing as Greek mythology is super violent in nature as is.

  10. #10 by wolfkin on March 31st, 2013 [ 6633 Points ]

    ahh cool


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