Archive for category Girlfriend Review

[Girlfriend Review] The Last of Us

*Editors note: The following review contains spoilers as well as information that, while not correct, can be a spoiler.*


The Last of Us

Ah, zombies.

Zombies have been popular since the monster movies of the 1920s (if you’ve never seen Nosferatu or the original King Kong, I highly recommend you watch both. And then go on and watch all the other monster movies you can find, from before the Breen Code made horror movies go the way of The Blob.)

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[Girlfriend Review] BioShock: Infinite + BioShock

*Editors note: All spoiler text will be hidden. To reveal simply highlight the text in between the [spoiler] tags. Side note – In the spoiler tags for Infinite there are references to Spec Ops: The Line that are spoiler-ish as well*


BioShock

The animation of BioShock was beautiful. Compared to some of the other games I’ve seen, it is almost movie quality. If it was, in fact, a movie instead of a video game, it would be Pixar’s first R rated film.

In the first BioShock, I felt the claustrophobic nature of Rapture. Yeah, it’s a big city, but it’s still underwater. One of the windows breaks and it’s “sayonara in two micro-seconds“.

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[Girlfriend Review] Double Feature – God of War: Ascension / Spec Ops: The Line

*Editors note: All spoiler text will be hidden. To reveal simply highlight the text in between the [spoiler] tags.*


God of War: Ascension

Yikes. God of War: Ascension was really bloody. It was Quentin-Tarantino-and-Eli-Roth’s love-child bloody. I really only saw about half an hour of gameplay and I saw more blood than in an episode of Game of Thrones. I have one vividly clear memory of this gore, and that was during the Trial of Archimedes level. Kratos slices the Medusa-lizard thingy right down the middle, and leaves her splayed on the ground like a partially juillenied cucumber.

A couple other things I remember about the game: the elephant man that Kratos fought? Was that the Hindi god Ganesh? Cuz I don’t remember any elephant men in Greek mythology. (Mainly because there aren’t any elephants in Greece.) And then there was that half spider/half human/half robot lady that did acrobats while fighting Kratos. Who was that? Lord Varys? (He’s the only Spider I can think of.)
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[Girlfriend Review] Tomb Raider

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider.

I’ve seen both of the movies, but I still don’t really know much about her. She’s from a wealthy British family; she knows a hell of a lot about anthropology and archaeology (like me!), and she kicks some serious ass.

Oh, and she looks really good in shorts. Really good.

And after watching my boyfriend, Clint, beat the recently released Lara Croft game, that’s still pretty much all I know about her.

But thanks to the movies, and from what I’ve learned from osmosis through the years, I know that Lara is a little bit like Indiana Jones, with the whole “that belongs in a museum” mentality. I haven’t played any of the games, and I didn’t have any previous knowledge about what the games are like, so I expected that the new game would be a treasure-hunt. Just my best guess based on what I knew.
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